I actually went through about a year of keyword searches to grab some of the best/weirdest/dumbest for this post. One thing I've noticed is that there are some running themes. Such as rats. So many rat searches. This is about 5% of them since a lot are redundant:
"rat face, rat with human ear on its back, screaming rat, dead rat drawing, anatomy of rats, closeup rat face, dead rat design, hairy cartoon rat, ratface punk, punk look like rat"
"intricate tribal tattoo symbols of sun, celtic sun tattoos for men, best mens tribal sun tattoos, big tribal round tattoos, intricate tribal sun tattoo"
Some are totally understandable:
"colored smoke, goat horned dude, half woman half bird, scrying bowl, slavic demons, british witch drawings, crypt skulls, cult worship, demon blood and guts drawing, puke drawing (love this) , awkwardly interesting (accidentally accurate) , punk paints, satanic hell horror death painting (I actually replicated this search and it's mostly metal record covers and horror movie stills that come up but for some reason I also get Starry Night), scary people in the woods"
I see a lot of people specifically looking for me, or someone with the same name as me, in all the many weird attempts at the spelling. So, close but not quite:
"jeanne p. coffin" artist (jealous of this name), dr. jeanne d'angelo (well la dee da), jeanne s d'angelo february 25 2005 died maine (RIP, girl), chef jeanne d'angelo, fisherman painting by mr angelo "
There are also people looking for medical advice:
"blood in nose and spit, blood when you cough, blood in spit up, can you spit up blood clots?, nipples not aligned"
|"what should you do if you want to see a witch?, are evil spirits real?, how do you know if you are producing ectoplasm? (trust me, you'll know.), real life genie for sale(I hope they found one) , how a ghost can be finished?"|
And then there's just gibberish. Tons of wonderful gibberish:
"a bird that is called same, murdered ghost, most haunted tattoo, a strega sucks, adrian balboa from rocky gravestone(phill-y, phill-y, phill-y!), ancient fish find hunched over, awesome mushroom drawings, bat tattoo for ceiling fan (wut.), bear fur coat for men, bunch of armadillos (I love that someone used "a bunch" as the set amount of armadillos in their search criteria) , corny white guy, the bone of a human after getting tattoo, dead person bone after tattoo (I actually saw this searched several different times and different ways. Maybe it's a common question or maybe it was one dedicated creep who needed an answer fast), paintings drug free, easy paintings to copy (heyyyyyyyyy) , ectoplasm vagina wiki (I can't imagine there's a whole wiki just for this), female evil, folklorique blousons, genie painted with pencil (allow me to explain painting to you) , giant lake serpent?(good question), goofy drawing of yourself, happy cats paints, how to get rid of from hungry wolf, hunched woman, bony hunched woman (I feel like they might have been describing me here) , i'm right 98% of the time, hybrid wolf and shark, lion/human 'hybrids, manmade things in rhode island (this is so hilariously broad), medium sized women, mini cooper line drawing, mortal pencil face (I don't know why but I read this as "mortal pencilface" and it cracks me up), most attractive paintings of the world (why thank you), mouse growing human hair (beaaautiful. and I think they were looking for that mouse that grew the human EAR), nordic women in furs, ouroboros conan (hilarious mental image), photos of actual lechuzas, brains scream at night, dont look in the eyes of women, rabid tooth dog, ripping lion paws, satanists what i think i'm doing, saw corpse (oh did you?), sexual reproduction (someone clinically looking for porn) , skeleton siting down with a tiger with black hair, what's the oldest human mummy ever found, weird shaped head, vagina, firstname.lastname@example.org (GREAT email address), a picture of a skeleton sitting at a table playing cards on a wallet, glow resin toilet (mad libs?), grave in the middle of the forest (I might paint this too), genie the rabid baby, child seek bones (best classified ad ever), q mart quakertown pa swords (I specifically know which booth at qmart they're looking for)creeping genie, past kids tv programme about a goblin genie, tiger bites heart"
It's possible that simply by writing this entry so packed with weird unrelated keywords I'm going to usher in a whole new batch of lost google searchers who come here just to be disappointed when I don't have answers for their asinine but delightful questions. Like a snake swallowing its tail. Or an "ouroboros conan".
I really need to get a good photograph of the other painting I was working on which has long been finished, but I made the mistake of spraying it will a matte protective coat (since it's painted on a box that might be handled) and it's making it really hard. Hopefully soon. Also, HEY it's my favorite month! Check it out, I finally got to pull the carrots out of my garden: